Dear Annie: Contamination of Daughters OCD Makes Grandchildren’s Lives Stressful

Dear Annie: I would like to hear from people who were children of a mother with contamination OCD. My daughter’s therapist has determined that this is a fairly serious case, but my daughter refuses to follow the recommended inpatient program. Instead, she sees the therapist once a week, which is essentially a heavy-handed approach. One problem improves and another appears. She has suffered from this for over five years and refuses any medication.

Beyond her, I worry about my grandchildren, aged 2 and a half and 5 years old. I can’t address all the avoidance and weird actions and behaviors, but his behavior injects a lot of anxiety and stress into their lives that they wouldn’t have otherwise.

Before we knew what we were dealing with, our family would do the worst thing by offering insurance and accommodation. Her husband is totally in control of his OCD. According to his therapist, he should take the kids and leave to encourage him to actually get help. It seems he can’t bring himself to do this. I worry that children will end up suffering from OCD too.

I am considering using the legal system to get the children out of this situation.

When I raised this concern with a therapist, she said the research was inconclusive about the effect on children. I don’t want to mess with their development and find out 10 years later that I should have saved my grandchildren – and my daughter.

I would love to hear from people who experienced this situation as a child and what would they recommend.

I want my real daughter to come back and live her best life with her family. — Grandmother blinded by mental health problem

Dear blind grandmother: Your Daughters Contamination OCD, an extreme fear of being contaminated by germs, has created a very difficult situation that takes a heavy toll on the entire family. It would be wise to try to get help for your daughter and grandchildren. Try to remember, though, that even when she’s sick or in the throes of an OCD episode, she’s still your real daughter. The disease simply takes over at that point. Continue what you are doing by talking with her husband and listening to any suggestions from your professional therapist.

I wish you good luck. So, dear readers, if any of you have had experience with family members suffering from contamination OCD, what worked for you during these episodes? Additionally, if you grew up in a household where one of your parents suffered from contamination OCD, we would love to hear about your experiences and any advice you might have.

Send your questions to Annie Lane at dearannie@creators.com.